Over the last six months Rick and I have contemplated, prayed and sought wisdom from those we love and respect over pursuing the adoption of an eighteen month old.
We had so many questions, concerns, fears and so on…and we still do. No adoption is clean, no pregnancy comes without risk, fears and questions either.
After six months of wondering and toiling with all of this I ask God to take me to scripture and show me what He wanted. In my studies He took me to Luke 5.
I wanted to be one in the crowd that pressed closer to Him to hear the Word of God. If only my heart could be like that each day.
It’s the response that Simon first gave that convicted me, “Sir we worked hard all last night and didn’t catch a thing”. Lately, my response…”we’ve been through difficult adoption process before before Lord…I’m done and content.” I was the one telling God the long list of “what ifs”.
He goes on to tell Simon “go out where the water is deeper and let down your net.” I read and reread and reread.
In my heart I felt as though the Lord was telling me to “go out in the deep waters and let down your “guard”, the one that I’ve held up to protect my heart, our daughter and my family. Instead of realizing it’s all God’s anyway and its His job to protect us. It’s our job to be obedient and rescue the widows and orphans.
All the while this precious child is in an abusive home where neglect and the signs of malnutrition are evident.
Need I say that there were times I wanted this so bad and Rick didn’t. Then we reversed roles. He wanted it and I didn’t. So we agreed to pray and ask God to unite our hearts. This He did. We couldn’t sleep knowing baby Emily was unsafe, hurting, unloved. No, we can’t rescue them all but she is one in our reach and we’ve been made aware of her issues. The more I saw my husband’s tears and heart for her the more I saw a need to follow...I had an "if you say so Lord" moment!
So, my prayer has changed, Ive ask the Lord to help me love baby Emily as Jesus does…just as I pray for Hope. The Mother’s heart in me has wanted to rescue Emily sooner since Rick and I felt the call.
However, the Court! Need I say more?
Although baby Emily has two autistic parents the Laws of VA still require a parental consent for Adoption. So we had to begin with Petitioning the Court for custody.
We don’t know what the outcome will be. But we do know that we need to be obedient to try and rescue Emily. If God puts a stop to it, we can rest knowing we’ve tried to do what we felt was right.
We’ve Retained a Lawyer and will appear in Court this Wednesday 5/18 at 11am.
We covet your prayers. Not just for us but for the birth parents. I can’t take for granted that they may hurt over this. Each time I get sympathetic toward them I remind myself of the bruising the swelling, the hair and weight loss etc.
So much more I could share but for now, this is enough!
We've tried our best to prepare HVN, the best way we can prepae a two and a half year old. She knows we are praying about baby Emily coming to our home, she knows the baby will get her pink room and she helped me divide up the toys. She's heard us pray and petition...the Lord will make her into a great big sister if he so chooses!
"J" week was a great week for us to work on being Joyful. Joyful for all God has given to us, even when things dont go how we hope (like with baby Emily).
During "I" week, she literally got into an Ink pen and helped herself in front of her mirror. When complete...she came to me and said "Mommy yook...I made up!" So sweet!!!
Each Mother's Day is a reminder to me of how very special it is to be HVN's mommy. My mind goes back to each prayer and petition, each tearful moment of joy when we were expecting her arrival, I think of "J" often as Im so grateful for her, and I look at HVN with such thankfulness. This day is not about me but about all that God has done to bring parenthood into our lives. The joys and challenges have grown us, however HVN is so sweet to be around. Her laughter is precious, her sense of humor we love and she just appreciates life. I think she thinks each day is made for her, God does give us each day. Rick snapped of few pictures when HVN was admiring the necklace she gave me and one of the many kisses I got yesterday. However, the sweetest moment was when she climbed out of her big girl bed (which she has slept in each night without whining or getting up) and she came to the edge of my bed saying "mommy, mommy I waked up" and she woke me up. I cuddled her close and told her how fortunate I am to be her mommy and wake up to her sweet voice each day. Please Lord stop letting her grow up soooo fast!!!!!!
...except for she says its for HVN and says her whole name in the cutest kind of way!!! Here are more pictures of the park last week, finding butterflies was a true highlight for her. She gets so very excited over them!
