Hey friends!!! We're here, still working on Education. Last evening we learned of a term and tried to understand the details surrounding a Conspicuous Adoption.
A conspicuous family is a fancy term used in adoption circles for a family that does not pass in society as biologically related because the adopted child is of a different race as the adoptive parents.
Currently, not all can tell that we are an adoptive family as some of our features favor one another. Not that we planned it that way, we trust that God had our family in His plan all along.
There is a high likelihood that we could be a conspicuous adoptive family very soon. We've check "YES" to a race other than our own and mixed race of different cultures.
We realize there will be intrusive questions, well meaning at times, but all the likely intrusive. Don't get me started on THE MANY intrusive questions we received while going through infertility. Seriously, we can laugh about it now but if I ever told you your jaw is certain to be left behind!
Therefore, when ask those intrusive questions, don't be surprised if you get one of three answers:
- a snarly remark
- a "protective of my child" answer if ask in front of them or
- I may be in the mood to give you an informational answer that helps you and my children so one no longer makes a ridiculous assumption or hurtful comment again in the presence of a ONCE adopted child. That's right...it's not an ongoing thing. They were adopted and are defined by the promises of God(just like your children). They're not defined by their adopted status. For instance, you don't introduce your kids as "This is _________, my biological child! or This is my friend so and so, these are her biological children!" RIGHT??!!!!
This leads me to say, I have two precious girls! Both loving and kind, talented musicians, smart, helpful at home, eager to learn and make their difference in the world. Two girls that are learning to love God with their lives and they DEEPLY love people. They have hearts to give and would eagerly want to share whatever they have with one in need. Again, two girls defined by the promises of God like any other child, person etc. Two girls, so very dear to my heart that I would do anything to protect them with my LIFE and LOVE!
"You have a beautiful family, I'd love to know more of your story!" I received this statement one time and instantly thought this came from a respectful person who truly cared and was curious about adoption. It also gave me the opportunity to share what I was comfortable sharing. Believe you me, there have been those times I want to say "thats none of your business or do you hear how ridiculous you sound in asking that question?" It happens!
Think about that these details before you encounter an adoptive family or families that were formed differently than your family. Wouldn't our world be a better place if we treated ALL families with love, respect and consideration regardless of how a family is formed? Remember your parents old saying "think before you speak?" It's a great rule of thumb with anything we voice(believe me, I know and have been guilty of NOT doing so all too often).
Family and friends, THANK YOU for continuing the journey with us! We are encouraged daily by your prayers and kindness. We've received several hundred dollars since I posted last, I know you're sacrificing for us. Your generosity means the world to us as we press on in hopes of getting to our BOYS, SONS, BROTHERS etc.....very soon!!!!
